Sunday, February 8, 2009

Bear Sterns Lays Off More People Than It Employs

New York - May 29 - Bear Stearns CEO Alan Schwartz refused to comment on allegations that a May 23rd PR memo approved the layoff of more people than the company actually employs, according to a statement by the Non-Associated Press.

The latest round of layoffs for the company, not yet announced to the media, was to include the firing of 14,444 employees. The company employs about 14,000. It is unclear whether the glitch, thought to be an error by PR Assistant Sierra Bandikar, would delay any pending layoffs.

"I am so, so sorry," said Bandikar, "This is so tough. I laminated my resume 3 times, went on 7 interviews, and I type up every note with perfection, fax everything flawlessly, and make my boss' coffee just the way she likes it."

Stanley Porter, an Information Technology Associate, said, "Times are hard enough. Those folks up in PR should show us just a little decency. I'm just hoping this gives the company time to change their minds, but I don't think so."

Bear Stearns representatives would not say if and when it would resume additional downsizing.

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